Effed My Way Up To The Top
by LegitElizabethWWEFan
Summary: (Honourable mention in Paradigm of Writing's Comfort Zones Do Not Exist in Writing contest) People will do anything to become famous. Of course, there are some who will do anything- or rather, anyone- to become a star. No pairings, modern day AU, and some OOC characters, please review!


**Hey there, guys! So this oneshot is my entry for _Paradigm of Writing_ 's _Comfort Zones Do Not Exist in Writing_ contest. I wrote this in a modern day AU where Peach and Zelda are singers trying to make it big. Little Mac is Peach's friend, and Marth is a music executive of a record company. That's all I'll say because I don't want to spoil too much.**

 **I own absolutely nothing.**

 **Anyways, please read & enjoy! :D**

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"Ladies and gentlemen, give it up once more for Peach!"

The crowd clapped and cheered as loud as they could. A few people whistled at Peach as she made her way backstage.

"Good job out there, Peach," said her long-time friend Little Mac.

"Thanks, Mac," she replied. "Think Marth noticed?"

"Oh, definitely! He was staring at you the whole time!" exclaimed Little Mac.

Peach smiled when she heard that. Marth was a record executive from Uptown Records, a major record company. For an unsigned artist like herself, his presence had her titillated.

"This could be the break I've been waiting for," she mused as she touched up her powder.

"I hope so. You deserve to be signed. You're too fucking good to keep going unsigned… Oh, shit."

"What?"

Little Mac nodded his head towards the door that led to the backstage area. When Peach looked over, she gasped.

"Zelda? What the hell is _she_ doing here?" she whispered in a harsh voice.

"Your guess is as good as mine," replied Little Mac. "And she's coming over to visit."

Peach turned back around so she could roll her eyes in private. The last thing she wanted was to chat with rival and general nuisance, Zelda.

"Hello, Zelda," greeted Peach. "You smell like a marijuana grow op."

"Hello, Peach," replied Zelda. "You have on more makeup than a drag queen."

For a second, the two glared at one another silently. But Zelda was quick to speak again.

"Are you performing tonight? Or are you getting smashed and retiring?" she asked.

"I already performed, thank you very much," sneered Peach. " _And_ I got a standing ovation. I take it you're performing soon?"

"You bet," said Zelda proudly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to finish getting ready. Excuse me, sweetie."

She strutted past her competition and proceeded to her own table. As she sat in front of the mirror getting ready, Peach found herself scowling.

"Don't worry about her," muttered Little Mac. "You killed it out there. Focus on _that_ , okay?"

"Fine… for you," replied a still annoyed Peach. "Holy shit, I need a drink."

Little Mac gave her a wary look.

"I won't get drunk," she added. "One drink doesn't get me plastered unlike… you know…"

"Off to the bar, then," he said while stifling a laugh.

Peach grabbed her purse and followed Little Mac to the bar. He got water for himself, and paid for Peach's dry martini.

"Mmm… I needed this," she said after taking a sip. "This is delicious. Thanks for buying it."

"No problem," replied Little Mac. "Oh, Zelda's up now."

As the audience clapped politely for her, Peach frowned. But she stay glued to the bar stool. Even though she hated Zelda with a violent passion, she wasn't about to ruin her seat.

"Thanks, everybody," said Zelda suddenly. "I'm Zelda, and I have just two original songs prepared for you guys. The first one is called… _Misery Loves You & Me_."

When she began to play her piano and sing, Peach noticed something. The beat, the melody, and the song's subject manner… it was all too familiar to Peach. It didn't take long for the light bulb to go off in her head.

 _She ripped off my song "Nothin' but Misery"_ , she thought. _How dare she?! I played that song to the crowd, and now she plays what's almost a carbon copy of MY song. What a BITCH!_

Even Little Mac noticed the similarities to his friend's original song. When he looked over at her, he saw how angry she looked. She swallowed the rest of her martini in one gulp.

"Peach…"

"I need a cigarette," she snapped.

Little Mac followed her outside to a deserted alleyway. He pulled out two cigarettes and a lighter. He lit hers first because he knew how badly she needed it.

Peach inhaled briefly, and then moved the cigarette away from her lips. She blew the smoke out behind her and sighed angrily.

"Why the hell would she do that?!" she cried.

"She's desperate to get signed," suggested Little Mac. "Or she's doing it to just to piss you off."

"This is fucking ridiculous," scoffed Peach. "This is _my_ show! Who the hell does she think she is? You don't rip off other people's songs- _especially_ from people who aren't signed! I've worked my ass off for five year- five _freaking_ years- and now she's stealing my shit."

"I'm sorry," said Little Mac. "I wish there was something I could say or do to fix this."

Peach took another long drag from her cigarette. "I know, Mac. None of this is your fault, you know. I'm not angry at you at all. I'm angry at Zelda. I promise."

"But still… I hate seeing you upset."

When the first song ended, the audience cheered loudly. When Zelda played her second song _By the River_ Peach almost kicked the wall.

"And she just ripped off the other song you played tonight," noted Little Mac.

"She sure did! And what's more, she knows that _Lake's Edge_ is my favourite song ever! Ooh, when I get her alone…"

"Don't even think about it."

"What?!"

"Marth's most likely still there. You don't want him to see you starting a fight, now do you?"

Peach groaned. Little Mac was right; her reputation was on the line, and she didn't want to ruin it over this. While the issue was a big deal to her, she knew that attacking Zelda over it would make her look petty.

"C'mon, let's go back inside," piped up Little Mac. He squished his used up cigarette under his sneaker and gave her a kind look.

"Fine. Might as well," sighed Peach. She took one last drag from her cigarette before stamping it out with her high heel.

Little Mac let her enter the club first. They sat in their regular seats and watched as Zelda's performance finished. The audience clapped again, but they didn't give her a standing ovation. That made Peach smirk like hell.

But her smirk disappeared when she saw Zelda enter the crowd and walk directly up to Marth. The two exchanged words briefly before she led him to the bathroom.

"Oh my fucking God."

"Called it."

Peach glared at Little Mac. "Really?"

"Oh come on, you didn't?" he questioned. "Admit it: you saw it coming from a mile away."

"I suspected it… but I was hoping it wouldn't actually happen," confessed Peach.

"How much you wanna bet she's not even a good lay?"

"Shut up! Ugh, just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse…"

Little Mac sighed. "Sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"I'm frustrated, Mac," said Peach. "You know I'd never do _that_ because unlike Zelda, I have something called _self-respect_. But how on Earth could someone like Marth turn her down? She's a sexy woman asking him to have sex with her. How in the hell do I compete with _that_?"

"Uh… keep performing until a record exec who isn't swayed by sex wants to sign you?"

Peach scoffed. "Someone like that exists?"

"I'm sure there is," said Little Mac. "Any smart record company should want to hire you. It still baffles me that you haven't been signed after all these years."

"It's because I won't get on my knees and blow anyone who works in the music industry. I'm never slept with anyone who's helped out my career…which is annoying as fuck."

Little Mac opened his mouth to speak, but promptly shut it. He wasn't sure he'd heard right.

"Are you saying you wish you'd fuck someone who'd further your career?"

"Absolutely."

"…Are you sure?"

Peach stared at him for a couple seconds before breaking into a fit of laughter.

"Damn it, Peach! You actually had me there!" whined Little Mac.

"I couldn't resist," said Peach. "You're so gullible it's hilarious. Yeah, I've never slept with anyone who's helped my career, and I'm okay with that."

Just then, she spotted Marth and Zelda re-emerging from the bathroom. Zelda headed backstage in a flash, while Marth actually began walking towards her.

"I'll meet you outside," said Little Mac.

Peach nodded at him before focusing back on Marth. He sat in Little Mac's old seat and nodded.

"You're Peach, right?"

"Yes," she replied. "It's nice to meet you."

Marth shook her hand. He noted her firm handshake and grinned.

"You were amazing tonight," he said.

"Thank you," responded Peach. She tried to not come off as awe struck, but it wasn't easy.

"I truly enjoyed your performance," added Marth. "I could definitely tell that you were yourself, and that you're not… fake. Does that make sense?"

"Yes."

"I'm interested in having you visit my record company to perform a demo, actually. I don't wish to change who you are because what you're doing is perfect. Why mess with a good thing, you know? How would you feel about that?"

"I'd be honoured. When would you like me to come?"

"Hmm… how about tomorrow afternoon? Does two o'clock work for you?"

"It certainly does." Peach made sure to write this down in her planner.

"Perfect," said Marth. "I can't wait. I have a feeling you're gonna be our next star."

The two shook hands once more, and then Marth left the club. Peach left a couple minutes later so it didn't look like she was following him out. She found Little Mac standing next to his car, so she hustled over there.

"Well?"

"I'm recording a demo at Uptown Records at two PM tomorrow."

"That's awesome, Peach!" exclaimed Little Mac. "See? I knew tonight was your night!"

"But I'm confused," admitted Peach. "I mean, he slept with Zelda, not me. Why didn't he pick her?"

Little Mac shrugged. "Beats me. Oh, wait… look over there."

Peach looked behind her, and saw Zelda arguing with Marth. They were both speaking just loud enough for her and Little Mac to hear what they were saying.

"What the fuck?!" exclaimed Zelda. "Wasn't I good enough?!"

Marth shrugged. "Yeah, the blowjob was good. But I could tell you were just copying the woman who'd gone before you. You weren't original."

"Are you shitting me? _I'm_ original- Peach isn't! She stole my style!"

"I actually looked both of you up before coming here. You were an R&B singer until tonight. Peach has always performed pop music. I don't know why you'd ruin what you were doing before because that was awesome. I'm sorry Zelda, but I'm not interested."

At this point, Peach and Little Mac ducked in his SUV so they could laugh their asses off. The fact that Zelda was lying right to a powerful music executive was hilarious. Her justifying it by mentioning the blowjob she'd given him didn't help.

"Holy fuck," sighed Peach as she collected herself. "That was too funny."

Little Mac rolled his window down so he and Peach could hear the rest of the conversation. But by then, Marth and his entourage had already gotten into their SUV. As they drove off, Zelda continued to shout whatever profanity she knew. She suddenly spotted Little Mac's SUV and looked angrier than before.

"Step on it!" exclaimed Peach.

As Little Mac drove off, Zelda just screamed more curse words. He and Peach just ignored her because they didn't want to deal with her anymore.

Peach was able to sum up her small victory with two sentences.

"I won, you stupid bitch. This is _my_ fucking show."

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 **There ya go! I hope you all enjoyed it. :)**

 **Please review, and don't forget to check out my other fanfics! :D**

 _\- Elizabeth_


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